what is emotional support and how to give emotional support?
Emotion is a part of the overall attitude. It is consistent with the inward feelings and intentions of attitudes. It is a physiologically complex and stable physiological evaluation and experience of attitude.
Emotion refers not only to people’s emotions but to all senses, the body, the mind, and the spirit. Emotion is a kind of sustenance in people’s hearts and an integral part of life.
What is emotional support?
Emotional support generally refers to all emotions to give encouragement, care, and love.
There are many ways in which this kind of emotional support can be expressed. I have seen this phrase: “What is warmth? Warmth is the handkerchief that is handed besides me when I cry. It is also a hot bowl of my mother’s heat when I’m hungry. Steaming surface.”
In fact, sometimes this kind of emotional support is felt inadvertently.
For children, it may be easier. Parents’ praise may be enough to make them happy for a long time.
1. Tolerance when doing something wrong
When children do something wrong. Be more tolerant and less reproachful. Not to mention children are not sensible, we must let him keep a long memory. In fact, children are sensible. Children and adults have the same self-esteem.
When a child is doing something wrong, he already knows his own mistakes, and he feels fear of being punished. If the parents still blindly blame the children at this time, it is very likely that they will cause a second injury to the children.
Since errors have already occurred, parents should calmly handle them. Make your child aware of his mistakes and ensure that the same mistakes do not occur next time.
2. Encouragement at failure
The child’s test score is very bad, or after failing to do something, the child’s mood is extremely low and full of frustration.
At this time, parents should promptly encourage their children. It is the same for anybody. A failure can’t explain a problem. What’s important is the success later.
If at this time, parents cannot encourage their children in time, they scold their children and compare them with other children. This undoubtedly inflicts greater harm on children. It is very likely that children will develop psychological rebellion or inferiority.
3. Care when you are sad
Everyone will have an idea. Of course, the child also learns to pay attention to the child’s care and comfort in the time when he is sad.
Was criticized by the teacher at a school, quarreled with a good friend or a small wish could not be achieved. These are likely to make them sad.
Do not think that these are some small things, nothing. The world of children is not the same as adults. In the eyes of parents, these are small things, but they are big enough in children’s hearts.
When the child is grieved, give him a hug and comfort. Let the children’s grievances be sued everywhere, which is absolutely conducive to the child’s physical and mental health.
Counterexamples from life
Once in the park saw a pair of mother and daughter play, the little girl lively and lovely, holding a balloon and an ice cream in hand, while jumping while eating ice cream.
Mom reminded her to walk slowly, not to scurry and fall easily. After a few reminders, the little girl still squatted and walked. When her mother saw no effect, she stopped talking and followed the little girl playing with her mobile phone.
Suddenly, the little girl fell, her balloon exploded, and the ice cream fell to the ground. The little girl looked at her mother in tearful eyes.
And the mother walked past and picked up the little girl from the ground. “Let’s not scurry, watch, or fall! If you don’t listen to it later, don’t think I’ll show you out. Don’t listen. The nose will grow longer, waiting for your nose to grow longer, and no one will dare to play with you later!”
The little girl cried “wow” and the mother kept scolding her children.
On one of the trips back home, I heard my dad talking about the neighbor’s kid Kai Kai injuring her mother and leaving home.
After hearing this, I was very puzzled. Because in my impression, Kaikai was an extremely obedient boy. He had seen him several times. He was very disgusted with his character, and he often heard discussions between neighbors.
What are the reasons that led to a well-recognized good boy catching his mother and leaving home?
Later I heard that Kaikai’s parents were particularly strict with Kaikai and had been fighting all the time. He never said a word of encouragement.
This time, Kaikai’s mother once again criticized Kaikai for not having a good test in the mid-term exam. He also took other children to compare with Kai Kai. His rhetoric was extremely fierce. Kai Kai wounded his mother and left home.
It is clear from these two incidents that the little girl and Kaikai are children who have not received emotional support from their parents.
The little girl had already fallen and she had broken her favorite things. Her heart was sad enough. Maybe she was regretting why she had not listened to her mother. Then she would not fall and would not break her heart. Something.
When she sought help from her mother and sought comfort and help, the mother did not give her children emotional support but was constantly rebuked and scared.
I thought, The little girl didn’t cry when she fell, but she cried after the mother blamed him, and she was probably really afraid of wrongdoing!
Kai Kai, from a good boy who praises everyone, has become a bad boy who has wounded his mother away from home. What kind of sadness, grievances, and despair amongst his heart actually experienced!
When he couldn’t get his parents’ praise anyway, he continued to accept his mother’s scolding after failing in his failure. He finally couldn’t help it any longer. He naturally made an impulse.
In fact, there are some things that are not so serious. On the contrary, parental censure has added psychological pressure to children and exacerbated the deterioration of the situation.
Learn to listen and give children emotional support
In your life, you may want to take a break and lower your height, learn to listen to your child’s voice, try to be a good friend with your child, and get closer to your child.
1. More tolerance, less reproach
When the child has made mistakes, calmly sit down and talk with the children to analyze the mistakes. Why does this error occur and how should it be improved?
Not to blame the child endlessly. Do you think this will make the child long-term memory and will not dare to do it again next time? But in fact, you will find that the next time this kind of error will still happen, and it is very likely that it will intensify.
For children, making mistakes is just unintentional. Love is a child’s nature. They may not have thought that such a playful nature would make oneself make mistakes. Therefore, when the child makes mistakes, do not hurry to blame him for his tantrums.
Rebate does not solve the root cause of the problem, and it may also lead to children’s rebellious psychology.
2. More encouragement, less comparison
Never compare those so-called good children with your children.
Each child has his or her own strengths and weaknesses. There are no absolute good children and no absolute bad children. The good boy in your eyes, his parents will also have many troubles.
When a child is faced with a failure, he or she will be subject to parental criticism. It is easy to create a child’s inferiority complex and he will always feel that he is inferior to other children. In this way, when children face things, they will subconsciously think that they are not capable of accomplishing tasks.
It was only a failure because the parent’s wrong way caused permanent failure.
When your child fails on something, don’t rush to deny him. Your attitude may have a lifetime impact on your child.
Learn to compare with previous results, and find a positive side to encourage children and create the next success.
3. More care, less neglect
Most parents nowadays are busy with work and it is easy to overlook the growth of their children.
Children need more parenting and comfort than other things. This is especially true when the child is grievously wronged.
Learn to pay attention to children, pay attention to the children’s social circle, pay attention to the child’s mood changes, and pay attention to every little thing in the child’s life. Timely communication with children, comfort, and support for children.
Every child has his own small world. In this small world, how parents can play their roles will have a lifelong impact on children.